Those three words seem so simple, but it is easier said than done. I have heard them many times. The more I was out of balance in the past, the more I tried to take control of things in my life in other areas. I wasn't aware of it at the time, but looking back now, I can say that it did happen. Sometimes it all became too much for me and then I was given the good advice to 'just let go'. I didn't think the word 'just' was easy at all. That was precisely where the challenge was. Because if it would have been easy for me, I would have done it a long time ago. Fortunately, I have since learned to let go much better.
In my daily practice, I meet so many people who are dealing with exactly the same thing and don't even know they are trying to control things, simply because they are not aware of it. For example, they find it super hard to lose weight, or to learn new habits, because they are so used to the pattern they are in, that it feels very uncomfortable to start doing things differently. They feel secure with the familiar situation, even if it is not necessarily good for them. When this is discussed, it often turns out that they have certain beliefs that limit them tremendously. By constantly saying limiting beliefs to yourself (or thinking them), you start believing in them and living by them. It becomes a new reality that you start acting upon.
Imagine, you are struggling with being overweight. Then adjusting the amount of food you eat and moving more, so to speak, are not enough. Of course that is important, but the key to success may lie elsewhere entirely. You are not just what you eat, you are what you digest. In every sense of the word. Is it possibly the case that you have undigested emotions? Things that are bothering you and that you can't quite let go of? There's the word again. When that is the case, your body is also holding on. At times, you may unconsciously flee from the unpleasant emotions and use food to calm yourself down. When an unpleasant emotion arises and you then feel a strong need to eat, say, a piece of chocolate or a bag of crisps, it may seem that this helps you feel better. Which, by the way, is not the case. Usually you don't feel better afterwards, but guilty. After all, you wanted to lose weight by taking better care of yourself and now you have done the opposite, leaving you disappointed in yourself. Thus, you unintentionally stay stuck in a vicious cycle. It has become an unconscious pattern.
So how can you break it? The first step is to become aware of your own patterns, mindsets and beliefs. Take your time with it. Be kind to yourself. You don't have to be able to do this right away. Try to discover what happens in your mind and body when unpleasant emotions surface. Observe them, without judgement or acting on them. Look at them. Emotions are like waves. They rise slowly, get bigger and bigger and when they reach their peak, they weaken again and slowly disappear. Beyond that, you don't have to do anything with them. Or ask yourself, when you have a strong urge to snack and look for something to eat, what causes that strong feeling. It will be some emotion that you may not have been aware of. Try to map it out. Once you understand how it works for you, you can consciously choose to do something different, rather than following your old pattern. You can learn new habits, by taking one small step at a time. Then, you can also say better things to yourself that encourage you to become the person you want to be. This is how you let go and you will find that more space will come into your head and body and you will naturally start to feel lighter.
Important questions to ask are:
Does this help me? Will this make me feel better? Does this contribute to the person I want to be? If the answer is "no", choose to not do it. Then let it go. Praise yourself for not following your old familiar pattern, but consciously choosing to do something different. You can be proud of that. It may feel a little uncomfortable at first, but doing it more often will make you feel better and better.
When I support and coach people, we always work on the right mindset. By learning new positive thoughts and beliefs, we directly influence our behaviour.
Do you also feel the need to let go and want support in doing so?
Then get in touch with me. https://www.femkelifeinbalance.com/en/contact
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